I'm gonna have a badass scar
just come out here and I will go home with you...
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Randomize
