I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
