wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
