I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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