Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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