Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
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