it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
