if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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