If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
My breasts were aching with rage.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
