just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
