weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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