if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
