You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
