Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
