At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize