Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
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