Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
