so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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