remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Randomize
