We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize