do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
