I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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