Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
