I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
