Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
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