All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
