If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
