Dual....:-)
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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