his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
