You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
did i walk over a car last night?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
