Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
