I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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