turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
