Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
