I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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