a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Panties = found
Randomize
