there was a trapeze. enough said
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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