he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
These tits shall not be calmed
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
