Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
