He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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