The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
You've changed since you got that strap on
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
