You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Maybe he injected his testicle?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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