covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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