NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
