I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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