Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
