Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
