id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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