shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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