dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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