a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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