I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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