The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Randomize
