Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
