I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
