either way he was missing a nipple.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
