O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
