their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
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