if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize